Today was a doozy of a peanut-gallery/public comment day. I blame the shirt.So I got this garment at Salvation Army for $2.50. I really don't like the standard maternity-wear shirt: empire waist with copious swaths of fabric below the belt. Not exactly slimming. So, as you can imagine, this bad boy is not my favorite. But, it was super cheap and just what today's 85 degree weather called for.
Good thing I woke up on the right side of the bed today.
During an 8:05 a.m. stop at the printer, I was treated to a "Whoa! . . . You look preggos!"
At an 11:07 a.m. coffee warm-up, I endured a "HOW far along are you?" followed by a "You sure it's not twins?" (No joking implied.)
A 4:20 p.m. bathroom break convo brought forth a "Oh my goodness, you look big!"
But my favorite was my 1:15 p.m. dalliance with a Kroger cashier.
(Players: Kroger Cashier "KC" and Enlarged Marge "EM")
KC: "So you're havin' a boy, hey?"
EM: "Mmmm, pardon?"
KC: "Boy." (said while neanderthalescly pointing at my belly)
EM: "Nope. Girl."
KC: "Mmmm? Nooooo." (said incredulously)
EM: "Yep. Why?"
KC: "Well you're just too wide for a girl." (gesturing back and forth across my abdomen)
EM: "Well fuck you." (Don't have a heart attack, mom. I didn't really say that. But I did think it.)
EM Real Answer: "Thanks." (accepted receipt and left)
I might shelve this shirt/tent for a few weeks. Or until I need a good laugh.
